It’s late. But since I’ve been restless all day, I decided to start reading the book with collected works of Juddi Krishnamurti. I received it today and I felt again like I always feel getting a new book. Like my little secret, some pages which I will share some intimate moments with. Trying to leave aside my expectations, every book can be like a dialog with a perfect stranger. It is exciting, and I was looking forward to unveil all the secrets of somebody else’s words.

Have you experienced reading books that just match your inner thoughts? Sometimes they work as food for the souls, sometimes it is food for entertaining our minds. To me books are written jewels that caresses me when I’m alone.

Today I needed to feel free. Today I needed to know that being in contact with myself, not wanting to calm my longing and thirst for life belonging to a group for me is the right thing to do.

To reach for equality in mankind, Krishnamurti says that we have to critize every system and look at us as a whole. We can’t resonate life, though, life has to be lived.  And here I am, sitting trying to make sense of the 5 pages I just read. Yet, it is like his words fell like small pieces inside of me. Hard, like think calming pills that needed to be swallowed one by one. The puzzle to go to the next level is not done yet, but I know it is almost complete.

Nest step, unknown. Goals, any. Life, living every day.

And enjoying how books can talk to us sometimes. For every moment in my life, there is a book. For every calm surface, there is a profound rich deepness. Through Krishnamurti’s words I’ve understood a little of my bubbling feelings. It is weird that it feels like I merely can reach my own feelings with my fingertips, because I would love to understand them, to make them tangible. Perhaps organisation inside of me would make life easier….but is it what life is meant to be?

Now it is time to sleep. Time to dream to take one step forward towards awakening.

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